2 years and still counting!

It is going to be 2 years since the fateful day. The day which was to change my life. Forever.

I cannot not think about the life changing debacle, which has put me in this hapless situation. I try to pen it down. Not because I want to relive those horrific moments which have made me disabled. No. But because I want to know how I was given this second chance. To live.  But the funny thing is I can’t remember it! Not a thing of that fateful day.  May be that’s the way it was supposed to be.

I suppose the accident marks the most defining phase of my life. This phase that I’m going through, is sure teaching me a lot of lessons. I know we all hear people telling us how to value things and value people. And we just listen to them when they say that, smile at them and move on with life. I mean, come on, don’t we all know that?!? Do we really need to hear it from someone? But trust me, when I say this, we don’t.  It’s only when something happens that we realize it. Not that I would want anyone to go through something like this to realize things. No. But I suppose we all need that trigger which prompts us to value things and people a lot more than we actually do. I have. Lesson learnt.

Sure this fall has changed the course of my life. Sure I have realized the value of things, of people and of life in general a lot better now. But it does get depressing. And you can’t help but ask yourself “why me?” But this happens to one of those questions for which there are no answers. Even if you come across something which might be remotely close, it sure as hell wouldn’t please you. I guess that’s one of the mysteries of life. No point in pondering over such ambiguous things. The sooner you come to terms with reality, the better it is.  Lesson learnt.

This fall of mine has surely strengthened the bonds with a lot of people.  Be it parents, or friends or other family members, you sure come to know who form your integral support system. They are the ones who are there for you, by your side, encouraging you, supporting you, giving you the helping hand, lifting you up when you’re down, all along letting you know that they are there for you. The very presence of these people in your life helps you regain your lost strength and confidence. There are others too, who, thanks to their absence, teach you something. That –“In times of prosperity, your friends know you and in times of adversity, you know your friends”. Lesson learnt.

Another positive of this fall is that, I now have a lot of time on hand. To do all that I have always wanted to. Explore myself- my inner strengths, my hidden talents, my flaws, my weaknesses on which I can work on. Now that I have the luxury of time, I might as well make use of it productively to explore a gamut of ideas and interests. In trying times, you have two choices- you can get all bogged down and depressed. Or, you can kick depression and negativity in its rear and stand up taller. Lesson learnt.

Life can change in an instant. Things might be going smoothly and you might be basking in the smoothness of it when you get a sudden jolt which might leave you all shaken. This is when you got to realize that it’s good to hope for the best but even better to be prepared for the worst. Remember, life is under no obligation to give you what you expect. Lesson learnt.

I know that I used to pretty carefree and easy going before the fall. I know that had failed to see the seriousness of a lot of things. I know that I used to take a lot of things for granted. But I suppose it is only because of that, I now can cherish things a lot more and get a better perspective in life. It is only because of what you have gone through, will you know where you want to go and how. Lesson learnt.

But I suppose the most important thing that I have learnt is to trust the Almighty. Having faith in him/her is what will keep you buoyant even when you are drowning.  Believing that he/she has something better in store for you is something which will keep you hoping. Hope begins in the dark; the stubborn hope that if you just show up and push yourselves to do the right thing, the dawn will come. For sure.  For, there is light at the end of every tunnel. Lesson, still learning.

For me, this is a second life.  I survived the first one. And the second one, I know I have to LIVE- to the fullest. CHEERS TO LIFE!!!

Being Thankful!

A couple of weeks back, I had to go to Victoria Hospital. It seems like many of the corporates think that I just like waltzing around on my wheelchair, enjoying all the adulation and benefits that come along with it (not like there are any). But more importantly, they seem to think that I want to get a job with them only because I’m on the wheelchair and that makes me entitled to a job with them and not because I am otherwise eligible for the same! So they want me to get a certificate that certifies that I am “Disabled” person from one of the Government recognized hospitals.

They perhaps are justified in asking for this. For I’m sure that there are a lot people out there, trying to take undue advantage of the “benefits” that the “disabled” are supposed to get and thus, go about feigning a disability which only works out good for them.  But I suppose they, the Corporates, can work on presenting it all in a better manner and ensure that the whole process is handled a little tastefully. 

With this is mind, I, of course was quite irritable and was dreading the whole process. And when I went there, the start to the whole process wasn’t very encouraging. What with it being a Government hospital, the apathy was very evident. We were made to run around and were made to wait for hours, despite having been there much in advance.  The whole thing was getting on to my nerves and at one point, I just wanted to just get out of there without finishing the task for which I was there. But I of course couldn’t do that and had to put up with the ordeal and just work on getting my work done.

With nothing much to do, I just sat there and started looking around. The number of people who were coming for the same purpose as me was increasing. Up until then, I hadn’t been to any place where I could see so many differently abled people and looking at the crowd there I was initially alarmed. And then there were a whole lot of other patients with all kinds of ailments, moving around there and it definitely wasn’t a pleasant sight! I know that it was a hospital and one shouldn’t expect to see pleasant things. But considering the fact that it was the first time that I was in such a setup, one can imagine my anxiety. There were people of all ages. Little toddlers, teenagers, married people, old people with a lot of ailments like cerebral palsy,  visual, hearing and speaking impairment, mental ill health or psychological difficulties, physical disability to name a few! These people were primarily from the lower class with hardly any means to take care of their medical conditions and what it demanded. They had come there because that was the only place which they could afford and I don’t suppose they could even afford to take a second opinion. Even most of the “disabled” people who had come there belonged to the same category. They were born with something missing or had become” disabled” during the course of their lives. And because they were dependent on their folks for almost everything and because their folks were no longer in a position to afford them, they thought it made sense in availing whatever little the Government was offering as any money is good money.

All this made me realise that we, in the city, are often not even aware of a lot of things and take many things for granted.  We are given comfortable, often luxurious lives by our parents and still we complain about what we don’t have.  We have the advantage of being in the city and having had the exposure to a lot of things. We have technological awareness and make the utmost use of it. A lot of things are just call away.  Yet, we somehow are unhappy. We still crib about what could have been better.  We tend to compare ourselves to our counterparts, get competitive and work towards getting what they have and we don’t, whether or not what we actually need it. But I suppose we do it because we don’t want to be left behind and want to stay on par with them.

No one likes to be “disabled” be it in the city or outside of the city. But even with this, we, in the city have so many advantages that we can make use of. And the best of them all is the technological advancement. Today, what with everything becoming so science driven, life has become so much easier.  Be it the advanced hearing aids, eye care, prosthetics (artificial limbs),  rehabilitation, transplants being made easy,  better accessibility, to name a few, there has been a paradigm shift which is making lives of the differently abled a lot easier.  And importantly there is awareness. People are aware of where to go for what and also have the luxury of choice. Though not completely, I am sure with time, things are only going to get better.

Even with respect to employment, companies are diversity driven and are a lot more sensitive towards such people.  We have many companies being flexible to accommodate the needs of such people. Many companies are even going out of their way to ensure proper inclusion of eligible differently abled candidates in their workforce.

Some of them might be doing it only because of the Government mandate of having a certain % of differently abled people in their workforce. And many might be doing it because of their value system which wants them to go with the spirit of rightful inclusion. Although not all companies are adhering to it, I am sure in a few years, the employability ratio of the differently abled is going to get better.

I have been differently abled for almost 4.5 years now and like anyone else facing my plight, I suppose I too was depressed at some point, have cribbed a lot, cursed a lot of people and complained a lot about the changes that have happened post my accident. But it is only when I go to such places that I realise that I have lot to be thankful for. Sure, things have changed; people around me have changed and I am not in a position to do a lot of things that I otherwise would have done so easily. But then, things could have been a lot worse.  What if I was not in a position where my family couldn’t afford to give me all that they have? What if I was jobless throughout? What if my close ones were not around in my difficult times? Would I have gone off into depression? Would I have been able to fight back? Would there be anything to hope for?  “What if”- two words with endless possibilities.

Thankfully for me, my support system has been strong. My family and friends have made the whole ordeal bearable and with each day, there is something better to hope for. And my Super boss came to my rescue giving me back my job at the right time. And I suppose it is only because of all this, I have been able to keep myself buoyant.

So I guess, instead of always looking at people who are doing better than us and pushing ourselves to reach their level with angst, once in a while, we might as well look at people who hardly have anything that they need for a comfortable living and be thankful for what we have.  Trust me when I say this, doing this, gives you some amount of solace which would make you see things differently and you would see yourself facing life with a different kind of fervour altogether. Cheers to life!!